The Only Way Out is Thru

A zero day on the trail means no forward progress, no hiking at all. Either the weather is bad or you've exhausted your energy and need a day to recover, zero days happen. I will consider today a zero day.  With the exception of teaching my 2 classes and taking Baxter for a walk, I made no forward progress. I was either out on the balcony watching reality tv on my netbook, or laying in bed feeling like a sloth drifting in and out of sleep. I don't know how I feel about my behavior today. I wouldn't consider it a mental vacation or a relaxing day to recover, but I definitely felt like I turned my brain off and let myself be lifeless for awhile. Was it necessary? I don't know. I wanted the time off from work, but I realized my mood was better after I taught class at the Y and had some social interaction. I also had a nice conversation with an old friend from Maine on the phone. Something about talking on the phone means more than just exchanging a text or reading an em...

I dont know what is going on with me today. I woke up on time, taught my 6am Group Power class, left the gym feeling tired but glad to have a workout under my belt, and felt ready to take on the day. Then, somehow things went haywire. Traffic driving home was awful (as it usually is) but it made me late getting back to Carrboro from Raleigh. I can normally catch the 7:45 bus to UNC but today I was barely out of Raleigh by then. In my head, i kept saying "ill catch the 8" but sure enough 8am came and went and i was still miles out from the apartment. I changed my tune to "ill catch the 8:15" knowing that the 8:15 bus was my only option to get to work by 8:30, even though i still needed to change out of my gym clothes and freshen up. I made it back to rock creek at 8:13 and if i had sprinted to the bus i probably would have made it. However, thanks to my 15 mile run yesterday, my left foot is throbbing and my knee is stiff and i am hobbling along like a child taking i...

Its starts within my chest. It feels like someone is squeezing my lungs with a very tight grip.  Lately it’s been an everyday occurrence and always unpredictable. It doesn’t last long, and after a few deep breaths I can make it go away. It’s very overwhelming, an overpowering feeling like something bad is going to happen to me. The hairs on my skin stand up and my back tenses.  In moments like this all I want is to be held tightly until the anxiety passes. I can remember the very first time I felt this way, it happened back in college during my second semester of my first year. It was the end of March. For a whole week I had this awful feeling that something bad was going to happen to me. It followed me around to my classes, to my dorm, even when trying to have fun with my friends. I remember feeling a layer of anxiety on me and I kept wanting to brush it off my skin, the way you would brush a light snow off your coat after stepping in the house. That feeling finally we...

7 months of living below the Mason Dixie line has created a slow but very noticeable metamorphosis of my life. My move from Maine to North Carolina has not only opened my eyes to some issues that I used to sweep under the rug, but forced me to address them and work on being a stronger person because of them.  Welcome to my new blog, appropriately titled- The Only Way Out is Thru. It's a slight reference to the Appalachian trail for a couple of reasons. 1) I feel that my sole purpose in this life is make the hike from GA-ME in one swift trek (thru hiking). 2) Hiking the AT is symbolic of living. Life is hard, with lots of ups, downs, unexpected turn arounds, and also moments when you feel like giving up and getting off the trail. With that said, there are also points along the trail that are breath taking and remind you of why you're doing it in the first place. It has views so stunning and noteworthy, you can't help but feel so alive and at peace when looking. There are m...