The Only Way Out is Thru

"It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of a ride, everything everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be alright."-Jimmy Eat World As I anxiously await the start of my new role at the Chapel Hill Y next week, I keep replaying a line from the movie Hope Floats over and over again in my mind. I’ve honestly never seen the whole movie, but the last scene is the most important part anyway. The line goes, “Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but its what’s in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.” I feel like I don’t need to say any more about it because it describes where I am in my life so perfectly that it needs no further explaining! Talk about hitting the nail on the head. It makes me wonder about the people who appear to be truly happy and how they got there. Are they stuck in the middle? How long does the middle last? Do people ever ...

With having Monday off for Labor Day, today kicks off my work week and I’m trying to go into it with a fresh start.  With a half marathon under my belt from the weekend, I’m feeling super puffy with water weight and I’m trying to not freak out over it . It’s been reassuring to read some forums that other runners have contributed to all feeling the same way as me right now. After reading some posts all saying the same thing that “this” will go away after a couple days, I’ve internally calmed myself down from having a self-loathing/stupid diet inducing/new fitness trend starting crisis. I run every day on top of the classes I teach, and my diet is pretty clean. I know I need to dial down my weekly cheat meal, and I can afford to cut out the homemade Frappuccino’s I have on an almost daily basis. I’m proud of myself for not freaking out and heading for comforts of baggy clothes, instead I’m accepting what it is and not letting it beat me up. It helps to keep reminding myself of the g...

My previous post truly reflected how I was feeling so I won't take back what I said. However, the moment has passed and I'm not as angry anymore. I think it was good for me to write it so I could get it out of my system and cool off. This post, on the other hand, I don't think will fix the way I'm feeling. I've lived in North Carolina for 8 months and I still miss Maine everyday. With the seasons changing (well, sort of, it's still fucking hot down here) I've been thinking of Maine more and more. There is something about fall in New England that always brought peace into my life. Maybe it was the colder weather, or the changing leaves, or the start of the holidays, but I've always felt a change of my mood for the better when autumn rolled around. I remember writing a very similar sentence 5 years ago in a little notepad I used to journal my thoughts. At that time, I was going through a rough patch because I fell pretty hard for a guy and was turned down ...

There's the expression "dance like no one is watching" which translates to do what you want, be yourself, do your thing, live your life...blah blah blah. For the sake of this post, I'm going to put my own spin on it and write like no one is reading. Which is true, no one is following this blog and I'm using it as an expressway for my feelings so I'm going to be as angry and explicit as I want to right now. I'm so fucking sick and tired of seeing people's pictures, or reading their updates about how their lives are so fucking great. Like they've found some big turn around and now they're on this perfect road and life is "falling into place".  They've found themselves or they're on the journey to finding themselves. They brag about it and play it off like they're just happy and want to share, but for people like me who feel like their life isn't anything to celebrate, it's fucking annoying. I don't give a shit ab...