The Middle

"It just takes some time, little girl you're in the middle of a ride, everything everything will be just fine. Everything, everything will be alright."-Jimmy Eat World

As I anxiously await the start of my new role at the Chapel Hill Y next week, I keep replaying a line from the movie Hope Floats over and over again in my mind. I’ve honestly never seen the whole movie, but the last scene is the most important part anyway. The line goes, “Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but its what’s in the middle that counts. So, when you find yourself at the beginning, just give hope a chance to float up. And it will.” I feel like I don’t need to say any more about it because it describes where I am in my life so perfectly that it needs no further explaining! Talk about hitting the nail on the head. It makes me wonder about the people who appear to be truly happy and how they got there. Are they stuck in the middle? How long does the middle last? Do people ever get out of the middle? I think back to some of the folks I know in Maine who were born in raised and have no plans to leave. They bought a house a mile away from the street they grew up on, and have never lived or even ventured outside of their vacationland bubble. I can’t say I blame them because life in Maine is the way life should be, but how will they ever experience change? Do they ever experience the joy of a middle when they've never experienced the fear of a beginning or the sorrow of an ending? That thought then leads me to this question, what is better: Constantly going through the highs and lows of life because you’re always changing? Or, staying content and complacent with never changing at all. Before I moved, I think I was the latter of the two. My life was growing stale with the same old same every day. Wake up, work, workout, come home, dinner, sleep. On weekends I was grateful to get out and explore but even then, my weekends were the same. Get out, hike a mountain I’ve hiked 20 times already, get beer and a burger at the same restaurant as the previous weekend, come home, binge watch will and grace episodes, go to bed.  As nice as that was, it got devastating. I kept thinking, is this it? It’s like all those cheesy sayings out there: After the rain comes the rainbow. Joy wouldn’t feel the same if it weren’t for a little pain….blah blah blah. As lame as they sound, they are true. In order to experience the highs in life, you need to go through the lows. My move to NC is certainly just that, and as I begin to embark in a new position in my career, it’s a little bit of both high and low! Definitely scary and I’m waiting to get to the middle to taste the joy.  Maybe some people live their lives differently, for the fear of the end they try to hold on to the middle for as long as possible. To others, the fear of beginning keeps them trying to relive the middle over and over again. No matter how people spin it, I’d like to think of this as another step into a new state on the AT. A new beginning.